I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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