I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
