Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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