One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
