ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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