dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
