I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
