But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize