He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
