Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
