and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So squirting runs in the family.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
