Sponge bath it is.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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