I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
