if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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