i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
