i permit you to call me
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
