i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
