Betty ford says i'm here all night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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