2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
