You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
