i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
