return my video game
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
