I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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