You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
