like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
