Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
