TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
