So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
