OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
