come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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