you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
