Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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