is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
