There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
