there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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