Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My balls are so social today.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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