Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
