Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
