i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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