how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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