Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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