Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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