i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
