who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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