My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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