you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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