new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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