I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
