You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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