I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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